Your group writes two to three paragraphs on the theme of fear in Gathering Blue. You should briefly quote at least two parts of the novel that have to do with fear (does not have to be spoken or thought dialogue) and include the page(s) on which you find these examples. Do answer the questions on the handout, but let them be a guide as your group works together to write these paragraphs. NO FIRST PERSON HERE - You are the EXPERT! See FDIE for more on "first person."
Here is see some good writing by the Fear group: P1(run on P, meaning too many ideas in one paragraph, but this, of course, is our first wiki assignment) GREAT intro sentence, but not one main idea . . . and a bit confusing
P2
(run on P again) but a good effort at "fear" in general Good job using references to the text and organizing this, especially considering that this is our first wiki. =
I do realize that we took time in learning how to use wikis, how to save, how to edit, etc. Since we will use wikis not only in this class but also in other classes (and in life), I think it is a useful skill. I appreciate the work all of you put into this. As I will tell the class - I am asking that most groups focus on three revision ideas. However, your revision has to do with each paragraph, so you only have two revision ideas.
=
*Revision 1: Both paragraphs need a topic sentence underlined.That topic should be the one main idea of the paragraph - and no other ideas should be in that paragraph, only supporting sentences and detail for that topic. You may need to end up revise and end up with 3 - 4 paragraphs.
*Revision 2: Some of your sentences are SF, some are RO. Talk with me and revise to eliminate those.
See BOTTOM
Ladies - Since you did not underline topic sentences, as required above, I am having a hard time truly evaluating the revisions requested. However, your history shows significant work and revision.
P 1 - I do wonder if the topic is the first sentence; seems like it . . .
P 2 - Same with this P about Vandara which is more unified than the first paragraph
P 3 - The sentences up to "she fears living alone" are narrative (retelling of the story) and do not serve well in an expository (explaining) kind of assignment.
P 4 - also some narrative that would be better as expository
P 5 - good conclusion
Fear is an important asset in Gathering Blue. Without fear, characters wouldn't be who they, are and the plot wouldn't be as meaningful. Kira is afraid of her future and what it holds for her. She is left alone not knowing where to take her life. Kira's flawed leg, causes her to think she is not accepted in her community, and Kira must find where to take her life.
Vandara is a feared member of the community. She has a dark scar, and proudly announces that she survived the beasts. Vandara doesn't think Kira deserves the privilege to live. She tries to take away the only thing that Kira has left, her home. Vandara causes others to fear her so she feels even more powerful. While at court, community members noticed Kira, "make her way hesitantly up the aisle." She was fearful,all eyes on her and the thought of her life on the line.
Kira is placed in a nice room that's quiet and perfect, something she is not used to. It scared her, the thought of perfectness. Perfectness is something most may not see in their life, and Kira never thought she would. She always dreamed about living with her mom and never anywhere else. She thought of growing up and working with her mother and her friends in the weaving house. All this was not expected. Kira had a new life and a lot to get used to. Although she admired her new living space and what it has to offer, she fears living alone. Kira often wishes she could go back to the way things were. Soon after moving into her new room she met Thomas. Her new neighbor, Thomas, is a supportive carver that helps Kira become less afraid.
Kira's new job fixing the Singer's Robe is lonely, complicated and never ending. Kira can get lost in her thoughts, when she is alone. That’s why Kira fears so often, she has no one to distract her from her own thoughts. One day, Kira and Thomas found a young child named Jo. Jo lived in the basement, fearing her own future, just like Kira. Kira and Thomas visited Jo frequently to comfort and be a friend to her. After helping Jo, Kira no longer fears so often.
Almost every day Kira and Matt, walk to Annabella's house. The two fear the beasts when walking through the woods. Kira cradles a piece of cloth in her pocket as she treks through the woods. At night, after all work is done, Kira glances at her dark room.Once again clasping her cloth, and thinking about her mother.
Fear is an emotion when put in danger by something or someone. Fear is either mental or physical. There are numerous causes of fear, and some may be better known than others. Although fear causes sorrow, it brings another emotion, hope. Sometimes without realizing, someone might constantly fear. Fear is a distressing emotion, coming in different situations. It may be caused by a person, idea, or even a thing. Some people may run away from their fears, and some may face them to make themselves become stronger. It may put people down while it lifts everyone else up.
Current grade without revisions as identified above: 40/50
POSSIBLE grade with excellent revision by end of class on Tuesday, Sept. 29: 50/50
Group - Fear
Novel - Gathering Blue
Your group writes two to three paragraphs on the theme of fear in Gathering Blue. You should briefly quote at least two parts of the novel that have to do with fear (does not have to be spoken or thought dialogue) and include the page(s) on which you find these examples. Do answer the questions on the handout, but let them be a guide as your group works together to write these paragraphs. NO FIRST PERSON HERE - You are the EXPERT! See FDIE for more on "first person."
Here is see some good writing by the Fear group: P1 (run on P, meaning too many ideas in one paragraph, but this, of course, is our first wiki assignment) GREAT intro sentence, but not one main idea . . . and a bit confusing
P2
(run on P again) but a good effort at "fear" in general Good job using references to the text and organizing this, especially considering that this is our first wiki. =I do realize that we took time in learning how to use wikis, how to save, how to edit, etc. Since we will use wikis not only in this class but also in other classes (and in life), I think it is a useful skill. I appreciate the work all of you put into this. As I will tell the class - I am asking that most groups focus on three revision ideas. However, your revision has to do with each paragraph, so you only have two revision ideas.
=*Revision 1: Both paragraphs need a topic sentence underlined. That topic should be the one main idea of the paragraph - and no other ideas should be in that paragraph, only supporting sentences and detail for that topic. You may need to end up revise and end up with 3 - 4 paragraphs.
*Revision 2: Some of your sentences are SF, some are RO. Talk with me and revise to eliminate those.
See BOTTOM
Ladies - Since you did not underline topic sentences, as required above, I am having a hard time truly evaluating the revisions requested. However, your history shows significant work and revision.
P 1 - I do wonder if the topic is the first sentence; seems like it . . .
P 2 - Same with this P about Vandara which is more unified than the first paragraph
P 3 - The sentences up to "she fears living alone" are narrative (retelling of the story) and do not serve well in an expository (explaining) kind of assignment.
P 4 - also some narrative that would be better as expository
P 5 - good conclusion
Fear is an important asset in Gathering Blue. Without fear, characters wouldn't be who they, are and the plot wouldn't be as meaningful. Kira is afraid of her future and what it holds for her. She is left alone not knowing where to take her life. Kira's flawed leg, causes her to think she is not accepted in her community, and Kira must find where to take her life.
Vandara is a feared member of the community. She has a dark scar, and proudly announces that she survived the beasts. Vandara doesn't think Kira deserves the privilege to live. She tries to take away the only thing that Kira has left, her home. Vandara causes others to fear her so she feels even more powerful. While at court, community members noticed Kira, "make her way hesitantly up the aisle." She was fearful,all eyes on her and the thought of her life on the line.
Kira is placed in a nice room that's quiet and perfect, something she is not used to. It scared her, the thought of perfectness. Perfectness is something most may not see in their life, and Kira never thought she would. She always dreamed about living with her mom and never anywhere else. She thought of growing up and working with her mother and her friends in the weaving house. All this was not expected. Kira had a new life and a lot to get used to. Although she admired her new living space and what it has to offer, she fears living alone. Kira often wishes she could go back to the way things were. Soon after moving into her new room she met Thomas. Her new neighbor, Thomas, is a supportive carver that helps Kira become less afraid.
Kira's new job fixing the Singer's Robe is lonely, complicated and never ending. Kira can get lost in her thoughts, when she is alone. That’s why Kira fears so often, she has no one to distract her from her own thoughts. One day, Kira and Thomas found a young child named Jo. Jo lived in the basement, fearing her own future, just like Kira. Kira and Thomas visited Jo frequently to comfort and be a friend to her. After helping Jo, Kira no longer fears so often.
Almost every day Kira and Matt, walk to Annabella's house. The two fear the beasts when walking through the woods. Kira cradles a piece of cloth in her pocket as she treks through the woods. At night, after all work is done, Kira glances at her dark room.Once again clasping her cloth, and thinking about her mother.
Fear is an emotion when put in danger by something or someone. Fear is either mental or physical. There are numerous causes of fear, and some may be better known than others. Although fear causes sorrow, it brings another emotion, hope. Sometimes without realizing, someone might constantly fear. Fear is a distressing emotion, coming in different situations. It may be caused by a person, idea, or even a thing. Some people may run away from their fears, and some may face them to make themselves become stronger. It may put people down while it lifts everyone else up.
Current grade without revisions as identified above: 40/50
POSSIBLE grade with excellent revision by end of class on Tuesday, Sept. 29: 50/50
45/50 revised grade